A Home Away From Home: Common Struggles Amongst International Students in the US
by Anonymous | Thursday, Nov 13, 2025
When I first moved to the US, I did not meet a lot of international students. I felt isolated because no one understood what it was like to start over in the way I did. Festivities were odd, I had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving, and I had to celebrate my country’s holidays by myself. The adaptation process is something no one had talked to me about. I knew it would be hard, but I had no idea of what that would look like. The first semester was the worst. I felt alone and started getting depressed. I had a hard time socializing or leaving my dorm room, and I often slept just to avoid being bored. I eventually broke out of that cycle and began having a better college experience. It took a couple of semesters to adjust, but I finally did. After living here for two years, I’ve met other international students who felt the same way, and it made me wonder what research says about this experience.
Acculturation can be described as the two-dimensional process of integration that occurs between an immigrant and the environment/culture they move to (Berry, 2005). During acculturation, an international student will be exposed to multiple stressors relating to adaptation, leading to ‘acculturative’ stress. International students tend to have difficulties with this during the first few months of moving. A common type of stressor is known as ‘culture shock’ which entails feelings of anxiety, distress, and misplacement (Minutillo et al. 2020). Their anxiety can be heightened by the loneliness of being far away from an established support system. When I first moved, my main concerns involved socializing, having class in my second language, and missing home/not fitting in.
Language barriers are considered to be a typical issue for international students that impact all the aspects mentioned. These hinder the development of a social network and educational/professional performance. According to McPherson, and Pisecco (2002) there is a positive correlation between adjustment and proficiency in English (in the case of international students in the US). This indicates an association with social dynamics and relationships. Additionally, Sumer, Poyrazli, & Grahame (2008) highlight a relationship between depression/depressive symptoms and English-proficiency/social support.In terms of socializing, that was the aspect I had the most difficulty with. I had no idea how to translate the personality I had been forming for 18 years into another language with a different set of social cues and rules. I struggled with forming stable friendships because I felt disconnected from people. Social anxiety is a big component of acculturation, it represents one of the biggest setbacks for international students. Furthermore, it has been determined that the bigger the difference between the home culture and the host culture is, the harder the adaptation
will be (Mori, 2000).
Funnily enough, the best way to handle this feeling of not fitting in is to
put yourself in an uncomfortable position by exposing yourself to more social interaction. This should be a gradual process, although some people would argue jumping straight into a big social fear (ex. a party) would be faster (flooding). In the end, having appropriate coping strategies for the stress that comes from the exposure is an important predictor for adaptability and adjustment rate (Khawaja and Dempsey, 2007, 2008). Nilsson et al. 2004, discussed how around 2% of the total population of international students sampled attended student services to get help with stressors and coping. This is representative of how underused counseling services are, not due to availability but because students are not reaching out for help. I find this information crucial to understanding the international student mentality. Khawaja and Dempsey, 2007, 2008 argue that international students tend to exhibit traits compatible with Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) such as perfectionism, worry and rumination. In my case, accepting that I could not handle things the same way other people could was hard for me, which led me to avoid reaching out for help when I needed it. Adding familiar pressures and expectations to the perfectionist mindset is a recipe for disaster.
Coming from a Latin American country, my family always had high
standards for my academic performance. Hence, when I started studying abroad the pressure augmented because of how much more effort my parents had to put in to pay for tuition. This led me down a path of feeling like I did not deserve the opportunities I was being given, similar to imposter syndrome. This was the hardest part to overcome, it may be innate to the college student experience, especially at the Honors College.
After all, I can proudly say I have overcome most acculturation stressors. I, like most
international students, did this by learning to develop patience with the process and compassion with myself. Understanding that the international student experience is not going to be the same and is at times harder than the average student’s experience is important to developing healthy coping strategies.
The best piece of advice I can give is this: 1. Give time time, let things take
their natural course and go with the flow, and 2. Put yourself out there, do not inhibit yourself from developing connections/making the most out of things because of fear. My last recommendation is to not be scared to ask for help when you need it, I would argue being able to recognize your weaknesses and asking for help makes you stronger and braver than dealing on your own.
References:
Berry, J. W. (2005). Acculturation: Living successfully in two cultures.
International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 29, 697–712.
Hirai, R., Frazier, P., & Syed, M. (2015). Psychological and sociocultural
adjustment of first-year international students: Trajectories and predictors. Journal of
Counseling Psychology, 62(3), 438–452. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000085
Minutillo S, Cleary M, P Hills A, Visentin D. Mental Health Considerations
for International Students. Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2020 Jun;41(6):494-499. doi:
10.1080/01612840.2020.1716123. Epub 2020 May 7. PMID: 32379985.
Mori, S. (2000). Addressing the mental health concerns of international
students. Journal of Counseling and Development, 78, 137–144
Nilsson, J., Berkel, L., Flores, L. & Lucas, M. (2004). Utilization rate and
presenting concerns of international students at a university counseling center. Journal
of College Student Psychotherapy, 19(2), 49–59.
Poyrazli, S., Arbona, C., Nora, A., McPherson, R. & Pisecco, S. (2002).
Relation between assertiveness, academic self-efficacy, and psychosocial adjustment
among international graduate students. Journal of College Student Development, 43,
632–642.
Smith, A., Khawaja, N. (2011). A review of the acculturation experiences of
international students. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, Volume 35,
Issue 6 ,699-713. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2011.08.004
Sumer, S., Poyrazli, S. & Grahame, K. (2008). Predictors of depression and
anxiety among international students. Journal of Counseling & Development, 86,
429–437
Acculturation can be described as the two-dimensional process of integration that occurs between an immigrant and the environment/culture they move to (Berry, 2005). During acculturation, an international student will be exposed to multiple stressors relating to adaptation, leading to ‘acculturative’ stress. International students tend to have difficulties with this during the first few months of moving. A common type of stressor is known as ‘culture shock’ which entails feelings of anxiety, distress, and misplacement (Minutillo et al. 2020). Their anxiety can be heightened by the loneliness of being far away from an established support system. When I first moved, my main concerns involved socializing, having class in my second language, and missing home/not fitting in.
Language barriers are considered to be a typical issue for international students that impact all the aspects mentioned. These hinder the development of a social network and educational/professional performance. According to McPherson, and Pisecco (2002) there is a positive correlation between adjustment and proficiency in English (in the case of international students in the US). This indicates an association with social dynamics and relationships. Additionally, Sumer, Poyrazli, & Grahame (2008) highlight a relationship between depression/depressive symptoms and English-proficiency/social support.In terms of socializing, that was the aspect I had the most difficulty with. I had no idea how to translate the personality I had been forming for 18 years into another language with a different set of social cues and rules. I struggled with forming stable friendships because I felt disconnected from people. Social anxiety is a big component of acculturation, it represents one of the biggest setbacks for international students. Furthermore, it has been determined that the bigger the difference between the home culture and the host culture is, the harder the adaptation
will be (Mori, 2000).
Funnily enough, the best way to handle this feeling of not fitting in is to
put yourself in an uncomfortable position by exposing yourself to more social interaction. This should be a gradual process, although some people would argue jumping straight into a big social fear (ex. a party) would be faster (flooding). In the end, having appropriate coping strategies for the stress that comes from the exposure is an important predictor for adaptability and adjustment rate (Khawaja and Dempsey, 2007, 2008). Nilsson et al. 2004, discussed how around 2% of the total population of international students sampled attended student services to get help with stressors and coping. This is representative of how underused counseling services are, not due to availability but because students are not reaching out for help. I find this information crucial to understanding the international student mentality. Khawaja and Dempsey, 2007, 2008 argue that international students tend to exhibit traits compatible with Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) such as perfectionism, worry and rumination. In my case, accepting that I could not handle things the same way other people could was hard for me, which led me to avoid reaching out for help when I needed it. Adding familiar pressures and expectations to the perfectionist mindset is a recipe for disaster.
Coming from a Latin American country, my family always had high
standards for my academic performance. Hence, when I started studying abroad the pressure augmented because of how much more effort my parents had to put in to pay for tuition. This led me down a path of feeling like I did not deserve the opportunities I was being given, similar to imposter syndrome. This was the hardest part to overcome, it may be innate to the college student experience, especially at the Honors College.
After all, I can proudly say I have overcome most acculturation stressors. I, like most
international students, did this by learning to develop patience with the process and compassion with myself. Understanding that the international student experience is not going to be the same and is at times harder than the average student’s experience is important to developing healthy coping strategies.
The best piece of advice I can give is this: 1. Give time time, let things take
their natural course and go with the flow, and 2. Put yourself out there, do not inhibit yourself from developing connections/making the most out of things because of fear. My last recommendation is to not be scared to ask for help when you need it, I would argue being able to recognize your weaknesses and asking for help makes you stronger and braver than dealing on your own.
References:
Berry, J. W. (2005). Acculturation: Living successfully in two cultures.
International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 29, 697–712.
Hirai, R., Frazier, P., & Syed, M. (2015). Psychological and sociocultural
adjustment of first-year international students: Trajectories and predictors. Journal of
Counseling Psychology, 62(3), 438–452. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000085
Minutillo S, Cleary M, P Hills A, Visentin D. Mental Health Considerations
for International Students. Issues Ment Health Nurs. 2020 Jun;41(6):494-499. doi:
10.1080/01612840.2020.1716123. Epub 2020 May 7. PMID: 32379985.
Mori, S. (2000). Addressing the mental health concerns of international
students. Journal of Counseling and Development, 78, 137–144
Nilsson, J., Berkel, L., Flores, L. & Lucas, M. (2004). Utilization rate and
presenting concerns of international students at a university counseling center. Journal
of College Student Psychotherapy, 19(2), 49–59.
Poyrazli, S., Arbona, C., Nora, A., McPherson, R. & Pisecco, S. (2002).
Relation between assertiveness, academic self-efficacy, and psychosocial adjustment
among international graduate students. Journal of College Student Development, 43,
632–642.
Smith, A., Khawaja, N. (2011). A review of the acculturation experiences of
international students. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, Volume 35,
Issue 6 ,699-713. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijintrel.2011.08.004
Sumer, S., Poyrazli, S. & Grahame, K. (2008). Predictors of depression and
anxiety among international students. Journal of Counseling & Development, 86,
429–437