The Impact of Helicopter Parenting on Emerging Adults

A “B” was all it took for my parents to request a meeting with my teacher to discuss my grades in elementary school. It was an ordeal for my parents, and their urgency to meet with my teacher made me feel ashamed and embarrassed about my grades and competence as a student. They kept a watchful eye on my report cards and the choices I made, whether it be hanging out with my friends after school or my food intake. It did not take long for me to realize that my parents were different from my friend’s.  Although I say ‘parents’ plural, it was primarily my mother exercising control over my academics and personal life, while my father complied with her expectations. Now, as a college student, my mother's control does not dominate my life as intensely as it did in my childhood. I gained a sense of freedom and real responsibilities I was never allowed to experience. However, with my newfound freedom, feelings like self-doubt and anxiety persisted, failing to fade like my mother's control.

My parents are first-generation immigrants from South Korea, where the culture pushes for obedience and high academic achievement. Therefore, overparenting, or helicopter parenting, was the norm for them, like in most Asian cultures. Looking back, I realize that my mother's intense involvement in my academics and personal life had a lasting effect on how I saw myself as a person and as a student. Psychological research suggests that helicopter parenting can impact an individual's sense of self, particularly in areas like self-esteem, autonomy, and self-efficacy, including psychological distress (La Rosa, Ching, & Commodari, 2024). Emerging adults are defined as those who are in  between adolescence and adulthood. While they have reached sexual maturity and have gained experience, they lack an established sense of stability, like a secure job. While Western societies encourage a more autonomous approach to education and individualism, emerging adults who grew up with over-involved parents may struggle with decision-making, self-confidence, and even their overall identity. My own experience reflects this struggle, as I often questioned my competence and feared failure, even when my mother was no longer physically present to oversee my choices.

The concepts of self-efficacy and an external locus of control can explain the deleterious effects of helicopter parenting on emerging adults. Self-efficacy is how competent one feels to handle challenges and succeed in specific tasks. American college students who experienced higher levels of helicopter parenting were observed to show more depressive symptoms and reduced self-efficacy, with female students being more vulnerable to internalizing problems (Hwang et al., 2022). This may be because helicopter parenting often reduces a child's ability to develop proper self-efficacy as a result of the parents intervening and taking control of situations. This leaves the child unprepared to manage difficulties alone. As a result, when emerging adults are faced with challenges, they may feel an increased level of anxiety and stress due to the lack of confidence in their abilities to manage their situations independently.

An external locus of control is the belief that external factors, like luck, determine one's outcomes in life, instead of their own actions and decisions. Emerging adults in the United States and South Korea were found to have adverse effects on their mental health due to helicopter parenting (Hwang et al., 2022). In addition, college students who experienced non-overbearing parenting styles were found to have lower anxiety than those who experienced helicopter parenting (Carollo, De Marzo, & Esposito, 2024). Individuals who grow up with overly controlling parents may internalize the idea that their outcomes are primarily dictated by external forces, like their parents, leading to higher anxiety and a lack of agency, which can manifest as procrastination or impulsiveness. This can be attributed to a sense of helplessness and anxiety in situations where they are expected to make decisions or handle stress on their own. It is essential to note that while helicopter parenting negatively impacts an emerging adults' ability to manage their own challenges and leads to a higher likelihood of observed psychological distress, it may not be the parents' intention to make your life more difficult.

Parents who adopt this parenting style reported that they desire to ease their children's lives, presuming that making essential choices for them and protecting them from possible mistakes will lead their children to a more fulfilling life (La Rosa, Ching, & Commodari, 2024). A healthy distance between emerging adults and their parents while maintaining a close connection is encouraged, as it would facilitate the family's adjustment to the emerging adult's developing autonomy (Hwang et al., 2022). In addition, universities can also encourage and rebuild students' sense of sense by implementing more student-led initiatives and decision-making opportunities (La Rosa, Ching, & Commodari, 2024). Lastly, by providing parental engagement programs, parents could be encouraged and educated about the benefits of supporting their college students' autonomy while providing invaluable emotional and logistical support.

 

References

Carollo, A., De Marzo, S., & Esposito, G. (2024). Parental care and overprotection predict worry

and anxiety symptoms in emerging adult students. Acta Psychologica, 248, 104398.

doi:10.1016/j.actpsy.2024.104398

Hwang, W., Jung, E., Fu, X., Zhang, Y., Ko, K., Lee, S., ... Kang, Y. (2022). Is helicopter

parenting related to college students’ mental health? A typological and cross‐cultural

approach. Family Relations, 72(4), 2215–2233. doi:10.1111/fare.12802

La Rosa, V. L., Ching, B. H.-H., & Commodari, E. (2024). The impact of helicopter parenting on

emerging adults in higher education: A scoping review of psychological adjustment in

university students. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 186(2), 162–189.

doi:10.1080/00221325.2024.2413490